#DEMYSTIFYINGENTREPRENEURSHIP: ALONE

Esther Neema

It is not easy coming out of County 001. As they say, Kungia Happiness, kutoka Sadness. It was. First when I was leaving, I was leaving in jubilation. Watu hawakutosha. Everybody had to know I was by the beach, he he he he. Only now that I was returning, I was creeping back in to the city. Hiding from everybody. Quite ashamed, that no sooner had I left had I returned. Nitaambia nini watu. Nimerudi after announcing to the whole village of my departure.

To make it worse, being in Mombasa sort of made Nairobi feel so cold. I was now sounding like my clan who say, “Eh jamani, baridi ya Nairobi siiwezi”. It was the season of purple flowers. And though it often had been my favorite season, I just couldn’t stop freezing. Nairobi felt hostile a little. One can really miss the thought of waiting for coconut falling from trees and posing by the beach. For the first time, everything was quite fast, and I am not fast with it. And I am trying to catch up, but weh, it is a task.

Now here I am trying to pick up from “where we left.” Only to realize the world has moved. Everything has changed. Everybody has moved. And I reckon; EVERY TIME YOU STOP, YOU DON’T RETURN WHERE YOU LEFT, YOU START GOING UP THE HILL AGAIN. It is like going back to the start of the hill to get back up again. Not fun. So you better, ‘rest when you are tired, not stop”.

I try to look at the catering stuff, the events I was planning. Non of that is making sense. I try to revive Kilimani chilling club, but everybody is all grown up, finding their space in the universe. And for the first time, I realize I am ALONE. Everyone had passed the alone phase and grown past it. Ideally, alone is the space that people should grow. And ALONE was the blessing everyone had to find their purpose. But at this point, it was quite depressing. I blamed the universe for  sending me back to this “boring city”. And as they say, you stay in a season longer, if you refuse to learn from it. This was ultimately daunting, as I stayed for quite sometime in denial that I am away from the Beach. But life doesn’t stop because you are sulking, it proceeds.

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